so it's been a while...

and not so long ago I posted about being an addict. one of the things many gastric bypass patients deal with is a transfer addiction. Since it's nearly impossible for us to truly be "foodies" again post-surgery, many folks pick up new habits to replace the innate desire to crush 4 bigmacs at one sitting. I tried booze. nah...that just makes my pouch hurt. I tried popcorn. Oh the bloat. I tried sex...it takes two to tango and Amanda's transfer is definitely NOT sex LOL...so that left me with COFFEE.

I have turned into my dad. I go everywhere with my 2 dollar insulated mug from Big Lots. I'm not big on fru-fru coffee and starbucks tastes good, but who wants to drop 4 bills on a cup when I can go to big bird and get a POUND of the good stuff for 7? Sheetz has good coffee..and for 99 cents I can fill my mug with that delicious infusion of roasted beans and western PA tap water. Not a BAD deal, but as far as coffee goes, Mickey Dees wins the coffee battle hands down. When you are in the mood for a cuppa joe, nothing beats the arches.

Now onto other matters...Nick got a warning today at school for "drawing a gun." I have to wonder if he was asked at all about the picture and then coached a little or if the teacher just saw a gun and flipped out. I certainly spoke about this with him when I got home and I gotta tell you, the imagination of a kindergärtner is amazing. he drew a picture of himself holding his toy pop gun from Cabelas, and his imaginary friend who was pretending to be a deer, and they were playing "hunting." I asked him if what he thought about pointing guns at people. He said that it was not right and he should have drawn a deer instead of his imaginary friend pretending to BE a deer. Yup. I advised him to not draw guns at school anymore and if he does...make damn sure he's shooting animals and targets...not people.

We then played Wii Hunting for a few minutes. I'm having a hard time even being mad at him...I mean...things were different when I was a kid. I brought my grandfathers old single shot shotgun to school for show and tell one time. I carried a pocket knife EVERY DAY to school from the time I was in the fifth grade up till the day I graduated. I had a really nice lockback knife with a chicken fighting scene on the blade...it was an awesome knife and it gutted countless bluegills. My high school teachers (particularly Mr. Hartell) would often ask me for my knife when they needed one...they knew I had it. That would never fly today. Times have changed and I have to say i'm not thrilled about it. It's harder to be on the "right" side of the world these days, especially when there are whack jobs making it harder every day. Just a couple days ago a state trooper was effectively ambushed by a guy with a 30-30 "hunting" rifle - not a good day for hunters who do things right...and NOT a good day for gun owners. In truth, the "system" failed us - the system took this rifle from the shooter a few years ago and he somehow got it back. And used it to shoot a state trooper at distance, in the neck - right above his body armor. Sick sick people around here.

I teach Nick everything there is to know about gun safety and I'm a bit upset about him drawing a person with the gun...I realize what his intentions were but i have to hold him responsible for what he did draw. Here's to other law abiding gun owners trying to teach their kids about gun safety...

Time for a new addiction. One that my bariatric surgeon may not be so thrilled about, but what the hell...it's for the better. I AM ADDICTED TO VENISON JERKY. Not just any jerky, but my own. and now i'm getting into a full on addiction to making the perfect batch of jerky and I think i have my seasoning mix spot on.

My dehydrator can only dry 4 lbs of jerky at a time on a good day so I limit my batches to that much ground venison. here's my recipe.

1/2 cup Dales Seasoning
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
2 tbls garlic powder
2 tbls onion powder
2 tsp fresh ground pepper
2 tbls tenderquick
2 tbls red pepper flakes (flexible with this...do not exceed 5 tbls, it will be TOO hot)
1/4 cup worcestershire sauce
1/4 cup water

I mix all these ingredients (the Brine) in a large glass mixing bowl, and throw it in the microwave to a boil, and then let it cool to room temp. this gets the red pepper flakes to release their oils and you actually get the heat out of them, and it makes them a little easier to chew.

Once cooled, mix this brine into the ground venison. Here's where if you have your own grinder you can really do some creative benefit to the end product. DOUBLE GRIND YOUR MEAT WITH A MEDIUM PLATE. the fine plate is too fine, but doing a double grind will give you a good chewy texture when dried properly.

Once the brine is completely mixed. cover the meat with plastic wrap, and set in the fridge for 8 hours to allow the cure to well...cure. Mix it thoroughly again, and then put back in the fridge for another 8 hours to finish the cure. Now you can load the meat into your jerky shooter and up until 2 days ago i would go ahead and put the meat on the dehydrator trays and dry as high as your dehyd will go (usually 155 degrees) until your meat is dried completely but not crunchy. Finished product should be about 4-5 percent moisture.

I will now be following a different method purveyed to me by a guy "in the know" - Rodney from Con Yeager Spice Company. Pipe the jerky onto drying racks on cookie sheets and place in a pre-heated oven at 180 degrees for one hour. This will kill all fooodborn pathogens by heating the product to 165 degrees internally. this sustained temp for 20 mins or so will surely kill alll the little nasties, and THEN you can transfer the product too the dehydrator to dry thoroughly.

This process can be used for beef, turkey, chicken, fish, pork etc...but some people shy away from poultry and pork jerky but in fact, when prepared this way it is perfectly safe to eat. Between the heat and the cure, this dried meat is safe to store for a couple months on the shelf, frozen for up to a year. ENJOY!

A fathers need for legacy

Ever get placed in a job you didn't ask for or possibly think you are not prepared for?  This has been a common theme in my life lately, at work, church, home, etc.  I'm sitting here staring at an unopened copy of Chasing Daylight from Erwin Raphael McManus and right next to it is a little token from my employer that I chose as a future gift to one of my boys.  I want to make sure my boys are exposed to everything I know anything about and especially those things that I feel are important for boys to know.  No boy on this planet should ever not have whittled a stick into a tent peg or pitched a tent with poles made from natural materials.  These are things not taught in public or private school and though we may never truly NEED these skills, they teach many other valuable lessons about being independent, resourceful, and flexible.  

Nick is very inflexible.  If things are not just so, he's ready to blow a gasket and with both of us being as stubborn as we are - it's like oil and water sometimes.  Once I get him (and me) calmed down and try to explain the why's and wherefores he eventually comes around.  Bugs and camping are still not his thing, but we are getting there.  And if time comes that he doesn't want to be involved in such activities, that's fine - he can watch me enjoy them without him.  The legacy trinket i just got him is his first Buck knife.  A Buck Model 110 Folding Hunter - I plan on using it for a few years to establish it as "daddy's hunting knife" and when I think he or Jack is ready and open to the idea, I will hand it down.  Great...now the secret is out...hope they never find these pages :)

I've been thinking about what it means to be a dad...a father is easy - just donate sperm and you are done. Being "Dad" is a little harder - it requires enough loving involvement with your youngsters to keep them as close as possible, mixed with just enough sternness to make them want to move out on their own when the time comes.  I want my kids to love me, but to respect me and the things I stand for as well.  I'm horrified by the direction this world is going and I urge every one of my readers to get involved in preventing our country from having to re-learn historical mistakes.  We found out that ovens are hot during Hitlers world tour - there is NO need to touch the oven door again and re-learn what HOT feels like.  Chairman Mao had his go as well...I hardly feel that our kindergartners need to be singing political chants and ideals.  

http://michellemalkin.com/2008/09/30/the-obama-childrens-chorus/

Leaving a legacy for your kids means having a legacy to leave.  It means (at least to me) that we should pass on our beliefs and morals.  Morals that built this country from the ground up.  Maybe we are a bunch of tyrants, but I'd like to think the world is a better place because of us.  Obama's thoughts on the Iranian missile launch this week appall me.   We should just be nice to Iran, and ask them to play nice because we are all obligated to play nice on the playground.  I'm sorry...but I think Barry has never been punched in the face, or spit on.  Humanity doesn't work that way.  I know I am to turn the other cheek and I have faith in God but I struggle daily with the thought of Iran throwing a nuke at Jerusalem just for shits and giggles.  Their ideals are evil and Obama supports their actions indirectly by not opposing them directly.  How does that saying go...Stand for SOMETHING or you will fall for EVERYTHING?  It's high time we all take a stand and drop the apathy folks.  Apathy and sloth are both very similar.

We all need to take a good look inside and learn to act on that little voice in our head that tells us to help an elderly person across the street, or to help a person who has fallen or is hurt...and we also need to hear that voice that screams "something is wrong" and act on it.  If your heart and mind are with God - I highly doubt he will lead you wrong - If you act on something that is wrong morally, He will steer you right.  But apathy and sloth - inaction at it's best will prevent you from ever seeing this miracle in your own life.  I'm daily looking for my chance to shine and it looks right now like my kids are where my heart is - It's high time we get them involved with things that will actually teach them life skills down the road.  No propaganda - but self worth, self reliance, and team work.  And now i'm off to find the numbers for our local Boyscouts troop - Nicks at the right age for Cub Scouts - and it's high time he get involved too.  He just don't know it yet :) 

I hope you never have to know or live with an anal retentive over analytical jerk like me. Sometimes, I get so caught up in trying to figure out the optimal result of a particular decision that I forget all about the other things going on around me. A particular thought will consume my every waking moment and it ends up shaping my mood and attitude towards the really important stuff.

Take my latest obsession for instance... I have committed to getting a new deer hunting rifle as a small reward for working hard. I have a good job, with a good company, and I give it my all, all the time I am on the clock. I know to separate work from home and try not to mince the two. This quarter, I have literally busted my ass to get as many jobs completed on time as possible and after reviewing my quarterly numbers, I've done quite well. So I feel to some extent that I deserve a reward to me, and my family also should reap benefits. More on those later...lets talk about my gun.

I'm frugal. I hate spending more than I have to on something that will more than adequately do the intended job. Let's face it, a gun is a gun, right? Wrong. A gun is something that can be handed down from generation to generation, and hunting is a legacy to be handed down as boys mature to men. Nick is showing some interest, and Jack appears to be me, reincarnated...I can only hope that the only remaining future Bashams will enjoy hunting to the degree that their great grandfather did. I have two guns from Papaw and will always cherish them both. I want something to hand down to my kids, and I'll be damned if it's gonna be a POS Rossi single shot cus that's all I can afford. But I can't afford a Remington or Browning. Mossberg makes good guns, but recently there's been a bit of bad press about the Mossy Bolt Action guns, and I like my teeth right where they are. So...no ATR100 for me. But hmmm...Savage makes a good reliable gun...but it's just right out of my range this time around. THEN I find out about the wonderful new gun Marlin just announced last year. The Marlin XL7 is quite a piece of work, and given Marlin's long standing history I think this rifle will do just fine and it can be had just under the 3 bill mark leaving about a hundred bucks for a scope and enough overhead to get a few boxes of ammo to get the barrel broke in and sight in the scope in preparation for this fall.

But what caliber? If not for the restriction of the rifle of choice, I'd probably go for a .257 Roberts, .260, or some of the other low recoil guns that throw effective deer medicine. The Marlin only offers 6 calibers right now and my choices are limited to .243, 7mm-08, .308 for short action and the long offerings are .270, .25-06 and 30-06. I don't want the cannon, and .308 or .270 is the high end of tolerable recoil for a teenage boy. I have a good 8-10 years before Nick will be fostering the idea of hunting deer so we have some time to work up a decent load and put a few notches on the stock so he knows the gun has history. The .243, though a wonderful shooting caliber is on the light end of what I want to use. There is a chance of going to South Dakota to hunt with my uncles for muley and whitetail in the near future and after reading a bunch of writing by Jack O'Conner I think the .270 might just be the cat's meow. So okay...gun and caliber are chosen.

Now the scope. HOLY MOSES there's alot of choices. And did I mention I'm cheap? I mean FRUGAL? Frugality and rifle scopes don't work well together. Good optics and good money go hand in hand. Though I can't justify the $1000 price tags of Swarovski and Zeiss offerings, I know in my heart of hearts that to the right individual, these scopes are worth every penny. Just not on a $300 gun. Tasco, Simmons, BSA and Barska are the bottom of the barrel price wise and though they are okay scopes, with questionable quality, they are the only offerings in my price range. I set 125 as my max on a scope and was about to pull the trigger on one of Tasco's World Class scopes when I found www.swfa.com

I currently have a BSA 4-16x40 Mildot scope on my Marlin 882SSV .22WMR that does quite well for what I ask of it. It's quite a squirrel sniping machine, and delivers a 33 grain Remington V-max pill into a solid .75" group at 100 yards. It does far better than I can do, that's for sure. So I'm not against BSA but I'll never own another adjustable objective scope on a hunting rifle again. It's just not practical. I need something that I can mount quickly and fire, not fiddle with knobs. The PA woods are tight, and your shots present themselves in split seconds, fleeing just as fast. I found a BSA Panther 3-10x40 for 79 bucks. It does all i could want and my only complaint is the stupid sloped scope front that will negate using butler creek flip up scope covers. Though it comes with a goofy bikini cover, I'd rather have the BCSC's.

I like Mildots - they are easy for judging distance and if you have the formula memorized you can quickly calculate distance to target...if necessary. With the .270 and typical deer hunting distances as what they are in PA, a rifle sighted at 2" high at 100 will hit dead on at 200, and 4 inches low at 300. So just put the crosshair where you want the bullet to land and squeeze. A deer kill zone is about 8" circle centered on the elbow joint on the shoulder when standing still. So I don't need mildots. I just need a good quality hunting scope. Low and behold, SWFA has 2 3-9x40 Nikon's for 99 bucks each. Sold. Thanks for listening and helping me decide. The extra scope budget now allows for me to get the covers and the extra cleaning jags and brushes i'll need for the .27 caliber tube. I have lots of .22 caliber stuff, but nothing larger. I suppose I should pick up a couple brushes for the 12ga shotgun too...that poor thing hasn't been cleaned since I blasted the last two deer this past season.

I'm addicted...

to tea - www.tropicalteaco.com has a free tea club and a great blog - check it out

to hugs from my kids and wife - it's nice to FEEL loved

to dogs.  Cats are for tormenting

to the internet.  Mail a letter - the post office needs you.

to FPS games.  Look, it's either them, or real people...a great stress reliever

to nature.  my favorit subject for taking pictures...you don't have to tell mother nature to smile, she does it on her own

to microfiber - it's the new cotton

to mp3's - I used to think as a kid how cool it would be to digitize music and keep it on a chip you could put in a player.  Hmm...kinda missed the boat on that one.

to fast cars - I really miss my CRX

to tall trucks - I really miss my Amigo

to knives - to some a weapon, to me a tool.  Never without one.

to messes.  It's my mess, i'll clean it up when i can't find something i forgot i needed

to food.  that's about to end very abruptly in a couple days

to tea - oh, i mentioned that already - did you know one cup of rooibos tea has more anti-oxidants than a whole bowl of blueberries?

to venison jerkey - the last batch lasted all of 3 days...4 lbs of meat in 3 days.  I blame my coworkers.

to cooking.  I fear that I may lose this part of me after my surgery

to fishing.  I love teaching Nick about fishing, and soon Jackson will be following in his footsteps

to memories of dad before he got sick - he's just not the same.  I still love him dearly, he's still Dad, but not.

to memories of high school - if i only knew then what I know now.  

to directional tires.  My random thought of the day.

to noise isolation headphones.  All i can hear right now is the calm cool melody of Andrei Krylov's classical guitar.

to the first three StarWars movies.  the rest suck.

to church.  Even though i feel like the people can be very clickish and I don't belong, i feel the calling and cannot stray alone

to God.  He's awesome, in SO many ways.

to native american art.  I don't have enough, and probably never will

to writing, can you tell?

Addictions come in all shapes and sizes.  some good, some bad, all consuming.  I once thought that an addiction to something meant that you consumed that something....but in reality it consumes you...it eeks its way into your every thought and shapes the way you prioritize your day.  Addictions can be great motivators.  Just like the parent that bribes her child with a treat or something yummy, you can bribe yourself with your addiction.  

But what about your anti-addiction?  Those things you HATE to do?  Those things that consume your thoughts so that you may avoid them?  they consume you just as bad, but are more easily overcome.  Just eat your frog.  

Your frog is that thing you don't want to do and if you eat your frog first, then the rest of the day is simple.  do that which you loathe to get it out of the way and your day will run much smoother.  I once saw a program about a Marines survival camp.  During their stay, the soldiers were able to capture (snare) a coyote.  The instructors made the soldiers eat the lungs and liver cooked in a little water first.  The thought was that if they could make it through that little ration, then when presented with a true survival situation, they would be more willing to do what it takes to survive.  They already accomplished the worst they could ever do, it's all down hill from there.

Kinda like fire walking.  I want to do this really bad and hope to get Amanda to go with me.  We could both use the confidence boost from time to time.  

I'm addicted to being Big Jay.  I'm addicted to being the center of attention...not because I seek it (well...maybe I do just a little) but moreso because I just simply command attention when i'm around.  What happens when your addictions are taken from you?  The smoker finds another high.  the drinker finds another high.  the lard ass will find another "high"...

I hope it's a productive addiction.

Sounds good...

Recently started reading about speaker design again and my wallet can't afford to build the floor speakers I have in my head so for now I'm going to continue listening to my BA-635's on the computer and jot down some great tracks to test my eventual speaker system

Tribal by Benise on the album Mediterranea - 

great tambourine and other percussion, with crisp guitar.  Even on MP3 you can hear some of the guitar nuances.  Typical GREAT classical guitar with southern italian feel, almost flamenco-esque.  Great separation in the recording too.  Can't wait to pump this one thru some morel highs and mids.

Recuerdos A Zucarados by Gipsy Kings on Pasajero - 

another powerful acoustic guitar piece with at least 3 separate guitarists and rapid punchy percussion and some DEEP bass.  This should separate the wheat from the chaff with the right amplifier.

Stay tuned, more coming.

Little Things in Big Places

One month and counting till my RNY GB-WLS.  Yup, there's a mouthful.  Literally.  So this post will be dry and maybe a bit bitter like a good wine.  What is RNY GB-WLS? It's a Roux en-Y Gastric Bypass Weight Loss Surgery.  Hereon called my WLS.  This procedure is done thru 4 or 5 laproscopic holes in the abdomen (small things in BIG places) and aside from a new set of rules to follow, will allow me to re-embrace life. 

People who have never really fought the fight with weight just don't understand.  Diets work short term, as does working out.  My buddy Mike and I were religious about going to the gym and working out HARD for 4 or so months.  All I did was stay flat...the weight stayed the same and my muscles got big.  not huge, but definitely noticeable.  I'm still strong but I weigh one hell of a lot more now than I did then.  Proof again that lifestyle and diet are not the only keys to the battle.  sometimes genetics play a BIG role - both my families sides are large people - EXCEPT for my mom and dad.  They got the recessive genes.  We used to joke that my dad had a tapeworm.  He could put some food away...and yet he's never been over 190.  I doubt he's ever been over 180...not even in the height of his physical peak in the late 70's-early 80's in the USAF.  

What am I gonna miss?  

Holiday feasts, stuffing, ice cream, sweet things (i don't like alot of them...but once in a while I really like a good brownie), being able to chug some water...beer...diet pepsi...

I'm gonna miss standing in the spectator crowd while my sons ride the amusement park rides.  It's gonna be a real drag not being able to take their pics while I ride the roller coaster next to them.  It's gonna SUCK not being able to see the fishing boat drift out into the lake with my sons on it because I'm so caught up in the shore shrinking away.  I might miss being able to rest a beer on my belly when sitting in a camping chair.  Picking belly button lint used to be a comforting thing for me.  Scratching that big ol' buddha was pretty relaxing and felt very manly too.  I'm gonna miss being the poster boy for a Swanson Hungry Man meal.  I'm really gonna miss checking for load limit stickers on chairs at friends houses.  Blowing the airsoles out in running shoes.  Sweaty moobs. 

Until you are fat, you never really grasp just what a bad place the underbelly of the world is...I have one now...and the underbelly is a bad bad place.  I'm going to miss taking all them blood pressure drugs.  I'm gonna miss making my kids rough-house with me in the living room on the floor because I could not chase them.. They are SCREWED.  I'm gonna miss my pack of hot dogs on the back of my head that makes it hard for me to do my own hair cuts.  I'm gonna miss cutting my own hair.  I'm gonna miss judging a meal by the size of the plate.  I'll miss being Big Jay.  I'm gonna miss calling my skinny friends to come over and climb the ladder to clean out my gutters and fix my house because i can't find a ladder that has a 400lb weight limit.  I'm gonna miss walking on the roof for fear that I'll fall thru.  Telling - and hearing - all the fat jokes.  People assuming that I want that last piece of pizza.  I'm gonna miss not having the will power to pass up that piece.  I'm gonna miss the way my ankles swell up.  I'm gonna miss buying a new bed mattress every 5 years because my wife and I wear it out.  I'm gonna miss the way my wife turns me down because we must appear like walrus' getting their groove on.  Yeah, and I'm really gonna miss mis the hot sloppy walrus sex when she doesn't turn me down.  I'm gonna miss wearing out the mattress from sleeping on it.  I'm really gonna miss the way I can feel that slab of back fat whip around my side when I throw a football to my oldest son.  He's 5 now...I hope he doesn't miss his "fat daddy" and grows to like his new daddy quickly...I'm sure he will as it will be alot easier to keep up with him.

I only hope that once I'm back to my highschool size/weight that my personality makes up for the stage presence I have.  I hope I never become bitter because of the way the world treats obese people.  I hope that others can look to me for hope and guidance to a healthier lifestyle.  I hope that I can still eat venison...some people have strange inabilities to digest certain "favorite" foods post-op.  I hope I can afford all the new clothes.  I'm gonna miss spending $20 extra per pair of anything because it's in a 3 or 4x size.   I'm gonna miss joking about shopping at Ahmad the Tent Maker for my clothing.   I'm gonna miss being able to give the scary fat guy stare at people to intimidate them.   I'm gonna miss them thinking "what the heck is that fat fawker staring at?"...

I'm gonna miss being a fat fawker.  

Yeah right....I'm a walking Dodge commercial right now.  Grab Life by the Horns! :)